A NOTE TO SELF

So, here I am again. Writing to reach you. Few worries today. Had a great time with my band yesterday. Played 6 new songs. Never played these songs with band before. Hell of a lot of fun. Energy boost. A kick. Like being born on new, sorta. Because it was so fresh. So pure in its form. Just loose. In and out of control and comfort zone. Meaningful. Imperfect, but oh so brilliant. The feeling. The feel. The real… deal. Looking forward to next time.

Until then. A few worries/(thoughts) below. Ha ha ha… like a laughless clown.

-r to the o to tha b

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(an old note, but somewhat relevant)

Time flies. I wonder why.

Is it because I am having fun playing around making people smile and cry, or is it as a result of boredom? Like how much fun do a man need before he will look back in hindsight and call it fun. Is my life fun because it really is, or am I just one guy easily amused by daily circumstances? And is time playing a trick on me then? Cause situation is that I experience lack of appreciation for what I have got and that I constantly have a tendency not to embrace life, as beautiful as it is.

Times like these should not be forgotten.

In a corner I will sit and rest. View the mountains mirrored in the sea and watch the seagulls take a hit on the tourists. And I will try to remember my ups – and downs. Learn from it. And appreciate it. Only then the time I have spent on myself and not on others will be worth something. At least. I don’t want to feel like I have betrayed all my principals and I don’t want to shake the foundation from which I was raised.

To care or not to care is not a question.

People will always come and knock you over. And it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be that it’s done with a purpose and with good intentions. Not only to wake you up from selfish thoughts, but also to make sure you take care of yourself and remember that the gifts you’ve been given can always be returned in one way or another. And it happens every day.

Care. And take care.

Through all these months I’ve wondered how did it go? How did I end up being all fucked up in my mind, on the edge of paranoia without having one good reason to be so? And how will it go? And how was it? How is it? And how many times do I have to ask myself; am I doing the right thing? And how about all the people around me…

It’s business. On different levels. All in different leagues. Divided into groups. You win – you lose. Dogs chasing cats on shitty steps up and down the pyramid. Looking for a deathbed? You’ve come to the right place. Cause if you’re not an animal born with innocent instincts, be sure somebody will aim at you from a bunker. And you won’t notice it before you’ve reached a certain level, hit in the forehead with a red colored plastic bullet and you will wake up in your own bed the next hundred years wondering how much time you wasted on bullshit. After all, it could be worth it.

Peace and love,
-robert

While I’m at it… here’s a chat and a song from back in the days.